Seriously?

Seriously. You're forty years old! YOU HAVE A TEDDY BEAR ON YOUR BACK! Seriously.

Seriously? SERIOUSLY? Seriously.

Content of bag : 25 teeny tiny Teddy bears

He ain't heavy, he's my brother

Content of bag: chopped-up, murdered sibling

How do you say "dopey" in Wookie?

Content of bag:

- Schedule of Star Wars marathon

- Thermos of tomato soup

- EpiPen

- Virginity

The bag and the Seagull - a haiku

A dirty bird
The smell of grease
Summer has gone

Douche bag workout gear

Content of bag:

- "The Game: Penatrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists" book
- Can of Red Bull (sugar-free)
- Novelty shirt that says "Gettin' lucky in Kentuky"
- Man card (revoked)

Dopey bag of mostly water

Don't forget to feed your dopey bag!